WTF am I doing???

Man, I need to be hit upside the head a few times, or maybe sew my mouth shut :) OK, maybe both of those are a bit drastic but hey! I've got to smarten up. My downfall is not sugar or sweets, it's them darn chips - salty things, tortilla chips (nacho cheese flavor) or pretty much anything crunchy will do. I eat them regardless of if I'm hungry or not.... so why do I have access to them you ask? Because I make conscientious choices to purchase them when I'm grocery shopping. That’s just got to stop… right here, right now. I’m a strong person, but this is my weakness, always has been (can you see the excuses building up right about now?)

I’m working out pretty hard most days, and I eat pretty good most days, but there is about two days a week where I just binge on junk and all in the evening and just before I go to bed. Then there are the date nights (included in these two days) where we go out and I drink beer…. Why? Why do I keep doing this? I’m sabotaging myself…
I KNOW what to do, I KNOW I can do it, What is stopping me? Myself of course…. There is no one else. ME, I’m to blame. And I do blame myself, and I get mad at myself, and angry and depressed, and frustrated and all that stuff. Then I work out great for a few days, eat every 2-3 hours, eat well, then Wham! I eat the bag of chips before I go to bed.

Ok, writing this out and then reading it is actually a good thing. I read this and the first thing I say to myself is “DON’T BUY THE CRAP”, it’s as easy as that! If it isn’t right there at my fingertips, then I have to make an effort to leave the house, get to the store and buy the chips. Hey, I have the answer to all my issues!! Hmmm… might need to think about why I still buy them when I have the chance and why I put them in my cupboard for those times when I get these cravings…. Hmmmm… might need to dig deeper!

I get BORED eating clean all the time – what’s up with that? I like the taste bud challenging crunchy, salty chips… celery just doesn’t cut it. Key word there – bored. I find when I’m bored, I want to munch – even if it is “good” food (almonds, celery, fruit, veggies), if I’m bored, and it’s there (at my desk for example), I’ll eat it. So what do I do ? I’ve got a desk job and about the only walking I get in is to empty the bladder from all the water I drink, but I need to change the environment until the craving/feeling passes. If it’s still there when I get back – am I really hungry? Nah – usually not…’

Okay, enough grumbling for today :) Thanks for listening and I’ve got some more digging to do about why I sabotage myself so much! TTYL