Colds and Frumpy Clothes

So this a$$ backwards cold is now in my head. I can’t breathe but I came to work anyway. And working in an office building equals really poor air quality which equals stuffed up sinuses.  I went for a short walk in the cold air about mid morning to buy some lotion Kleenex and my chest hurt for about an hour afterwards… won’t be doing that again.  I think I’m too late for the lotion too – ouch my nose is getting tender. All in all I am feeling better though and am being very very careful to not infect anyone else should I be contagious…. Good old hand sanitizer comes in handy sometimes.

So even though I am not hungry in the slightest, I am trying to eat something every couple of hours. I calculated what I ate yesterday and it came to under 1000 calories and that included a can of pop. I don’t drink pop normally but when my chest and throat hurt, that fuzz kind of feels good, so I drank the sugar. AND I had my very first 80 calorie peanut butter cup piece of Halloween candy. A week later, but only ONE. The BF pulled out the box just as I was going to bed and I grabbed one and scarfed it down. But not until I had looked at how many calories were in the teensy weensy little piece of chocolate and PB. Not worth it really, equaled the same as my yummy apples.

I’ve decided to drag out the ole juicer and start juicing again. I think it will help with me being able to digest my nutrients a bit better and I’ll get lots of veggies and fruit in a day. I’ve been drinking a fruit concoction early morning for the last 2 weeks and will now be adding the glass of vegetable juice when I get home from work. It will help slow down that munchy craze I can sometimes get into when I get home and am looking for something to fill the gullet. This will allow me to sip it while preparing my dinner and not looking for something to snack on prior. I had made some trial runs yesterday and gave a couple of one ounce shots to the BF for him to taste, and I’m 100% sure it will not be something he partakes in. He said to me last week he wants to get on board with me and start eating healthier so if I make it, he will try it…. I’m thinking this one won’t work.

And I’m single again for a couple of days while the pup and BF go back out hunting. Can’t say I’m going to mind the solitude. I kind of need it right now and won’t feel like I need to prepare him dinner when I’m not feeling 100% yet – this way I can eat what I want and not worry about him. Funny thing is, Uncle T is about to visit again… hmmmm… I do now think it is no longer a coincidence J (not that I get nasty or anything like that).

Exercise has still been null and void but I’m OK with that. It takes too much effort just to walk a couple of blocks so I can’t expect my body to heal thyself and work on expending calories at the same time. My caloric intake allows for this right now anyway so I’m not feeling in the slightest bit guilty.

So… yesterday I had a kind of revelation or whatever you want to call it. You know when you don’t feel good, you put on the sweats pants and big ole sweatshirt because it’s comfy and warm. Well I had that exact attire on, hair pulled up in a pony tail, face was washed and clean but I still felt “YUCK”. Went to the store with the BF and his son to pick out a present for a  birthday gift for the boy to attend a party in the community. Well, all I did was feel crappy about myself the entire time. I saw all kinds of nice looking ladies, still dressed casually, but looking OH SO MUCH better than I did at that moment. I felt like a frump. Had to really slap myself around a bit mentally to let that go as it is a very bad habit I have of comparing myself to others and it is something I need to let go really bad. Really bad. So how do I fix that… when I go out, even to the Wally World to pick out a present, I’ve got to dress a bit nicer – change out of the extra large sweatshirt and put something more attractive on… it’s a personal thing and to feel good, I have to look good. So having physically feeling bad, and visually looking frumpy, I felt even worse. I MUST stop comparing myself to others.

Not a good thing when you are to only think positive thoughts….

I hope everyone has a FANTASTIC DAY and is making good choices.

Ttyl

Sandra