Day 1 - 90 Day Challenge

I’m committed, I’m going to do it, I’m going to succeed. On November 22^nd, I will be down 23lbs. That is about 2lbs a week which is aggressive for me considering how slow my weight loss has been so far but I have also not given it my 100%.

So to start off on the right foot first thing this morning, when I jumped crawled out of bed at 4:00, I fell right over from the pain in my left foot. WHAT!! OMG it freakin hurt. Let’s back up a day or two….

On the weekend, I ran on Saturday 4:1x5 – not bad for just getting back into it again, then on Sunday I had started the wrong podcast on my iPod and when it reached the 4 minute mark, then the 5, then the 6, then 7, 8 – I just kept on running and stopped at 15 – I RAN 15 minutes straight – woot woot! I walked for 5 then ran for 5 more. Now, none of this is going to make me win the race as I’m not running all that fast, but I’m looking for endurance first (tortoise before the hare).

Well as Sunday progressed, my left foot started to hurt in the upper part of my foot – I guess it is the upper plantar fascia. So I had a warm bath and massaged my foot to get the ache in the muscle/bones out. Guess I massaged it too well, maybe a little Active Release process involved there. Well this morning it took I had to walk the block to the bus station, then the two blocks to work. Very slow and cautious. Luckily for me, I had my appointment with the physiotherapist for my hip (remember last week) and when I got there (took me forever to walk the 6 blocks), she worked on my foot and not my hip (which feels just fine by the way – other than its normal stiffness). So after an ultrasound and some other electronic thing that stimulated my joints/muscles (and made my toes twitch), she made a pseudo arch support and taped it to my upper arch (I already wear orthotics that I just got in May of this year). Then she told me to not run, nothing with impact until I get new orthotics (and those babies aren’t cheap either).

So now what do I do??? Goes to show how much I thought running was the only way I could lose weight aerobically – and I KNOW that is wrong. I’m going to have to just walk (faster) and use my Bowflex Treadclimber instead of running. Go back to the low impact thing…. I’m sure it will be just as good (and obviously better for my body).

So today my exercise is :

- NIL L

My food will be as close to 1400 calories as I can make it. I’m still not sure what I am having for dinner. I’d post my meals but not sure if anyone is really interested in that sort of thing.

I hope everyone has a fantastic week.

Sandra

Pictures from my Vacation

 

This was me fishing during our holidays and this was during a float trip.

 

 

 

It was tons of fun but the best thing was the view.

 

 

 

 

 

This little guy was not afraid of me and never flew away. I got to take tons of pictures of him. This one was just after he had a bath in the river.

Thoughts......

I'm almost afraid to write out what my future plans are in case I don't succeed. Isn't that just down right dumb?? I'm already planning to fail before I even start. Duh! Hip pain = fear of moving forward.... think it's linked? I'm beginning to wonder that myself.


How can I succeed getting to my end result if I don't want to commit and get the job done right. Be accountable to not only myself but all of you. I'm p'od that that I'm not able to fully jog/walk right now because my hip hurts so much but what if I just did it anyway and just dealt with the pain? I'll admit this was the worse it has ever been and it has scared me a bit but come on Sandra... you are strong!! you can work past this and get your a$$ moving in the right direction.


Years ago when I did the BFL program, I did well. I lost 50 lbs within a little over 3 months. I was ten years younger than now but I did it and I can do it again. I used the emotional stuff that went on in my life at that time to let myself go again. I need to let the emotions go and start enjoying life again - stop sweating the small stuff. I'm a firm believer in synchronicity and feel that things happen around me for a reason. If I need something, be it something to learn about myself, or do for myself, or just whatever.... it will be there right in my face. So last week after holidays and feeling angry at myself for taking a vacation from my healthy lifestyle and then being in pain all over again from being inactive, I read blogs and article after article about late night snacking, and then alcohol and weight loss, and so on (whew talk about run on sentences). This week it is this: It's time for me to relax, to let things go. I need to get back into peace with myself and everything around me (including the BF). Stop looking for fulfillment (or happiness) outside of myself and go with the flow. I gotta just be! Live one day at a time making the best choices I can at that time and STOP STRESSING OUT!


So starting Monday, I'm going to start working out faithfully to the best of my ability at the time (hip pain or not) and I will be eating as clean as I can. My goal is to lose 24lbs by November 22nd, and that works out to about 2 lbs a week. I don't think that is unreasonable and a heck of a lot better than what I have done in the last 8 months (never mind 3 :) )


And so it shall be....


Make healthy choices,
Sandra

Oh the agony of it all....

Well I ran on Saturday and I ran again last night. Not at my normal time sets as per pre-vacation but it was a start. But after last night’s run, I did my stretching and the ole hip started giving me grief after   dinner. I just couldn’t get comfortable on the couch, every position hurt and made it ache. My hip aches from the inside right down my leg through my bones. So before I went to bed I took a couple of advil and then tried to get comfortable. Once the drugs kicked in, I was able to fall asleep – but not for long. At midnight I got up to use the washroom (nightly occurrence as I drink so much H20) and as I was getting into the sitting position with legs hanging off the bed, moving from one cheek bone to the other, I felt a “pop” in my right hip (the sore one). Well the pain of it was just horrible. I have a high pain tolerance (which I think most women do) but man this just hurt and ached or radiated down my leg. I went into the kitchen to get a couple more advil to ease it and then tried laying down. No position was comfortable. I normally sleep on my sides but there was no way I could do it last night. So I put a pillow under my legs and laid on my back and fell asleep that way. Eventually I rolled over and put the pillow between my legs and I think the elevation of my leg to align with my hip allowed the pain to ease off that way as well. I had a fitful painful night of sleeping.

So naturally this morning I did not walk my 2 miles to the train station as it is still achy. Not as much pain but achy. I was supposed to start running with my co-worker tonight after work but I have had to cancel. I think I need to heal before I break anymore. It’s just so depressing.

I so wanted to get back into the swing  of things but as a lot of folks know, any pain in your back (in my case lower back, right hip area and radiating right through the bone) is not a good feeling and rather than do more damage, I really need to heal it. But I don’t know who to see? A chiropractor ? They didn’t help much in the first place. I have an appointment with the Physiotherapist to get that InterMuscularStimulation (IMS) procedure done again as it helped release the muscles before - but she is away until Monday. I have another appointment with a massage therapist this afternoon to see if she can just get some of the aching out of my back/hip/leg area (any release would be nice right now), and I have an appointment Tuesday with my regular doctor to see about getting a referral to a specialist. Might as well get that ball rolling now as I don’t want to have to have a hip replacement before I’m 50 and that’s only 2 years away… :(  Should get to the issue itself and find out exactly what is wrong and get it fixed. Be proactive.

I wanted to get going on a 90 day personal challenge starting August 31^st and really push myself in the exercising and eating clean for the three months. I think I’ve been dilly dallying around enough the last year and need to really focus and get down to business. I’m just pissed now that this happened and that I may not be able to exercise as much until we figure out what the true issue is. I guess for now, I’ll just do lots of walking (which still is uncomfortable), stretching and hope that the pain goes away so that I can start jogging again. AND I’ll eat as clean as possible.

I was even going to try to be accountable on my blog about not drinking and keeping an honest record of the “drink and snack free” days (yesterday was one of them J) – hey gotta start somewhere.

AND today at work they have started the shoulder tapping and letting people go. It sucks and depresses the heck out of me. Oh the stress of it all…. And the old thought process that used to go through my mind is that I really need a night out which involves a drink … my new thought process is going to change that and tonight I will go home, have dinner and try to relax and just talk things through with the BF.

I hope everyone is having a fantastic week!

Ttyl

Sandra

 

Friday Musings....

Yikes, I missed posting yesterday… I was too busy reading other lovely blogs and learning stuff about myself that I just plain ran out of time. That kind of happens when you do this at work and multitask (Yup I do get lots of work done as well). My desk has two monitors (I like to multi-task) and I read blogs in one, and work in the other (or switch back and forth). I’m productive but when my mind gets bored with work, I start surfin. Anyway…..

Yesterday my investigation was about weight loss and alcohol as that really is my determining factor in “my travels to becoming a better me”. Other than my night time snacking, drinking beer or coolers is my calorie hog. When I don’t have sore hips, lower back pain and blisters the size of silver dollars on the back of my heels from stupid socks and new running shoes, my exercising is pretty darn good. I do think however, I could push myself a bit more on the weight lifting but the cardio is just fine.

I do journal, always have and that’s a good thing as I can go over what I have been doing and where I have been going wrong. I’ve been on this weight loss journey it seems like forever. I know how to do it, and I am pretty sure I can be successful. However, I need to figure out the emotional stuff first. I started to gain weight after I left my first husband. Out of boredom and loneliness I would eat chips at night. Old Dutch Nacho Flavored Tortillas were and are still my favorite thing to snack on. I never was into the sweet stuff. I used to drink Pepsi by the gallon every day, then I stopped that in 1999 (or so). Now I have one every once in awhile when I am camping but that’s about it. Too sweet most days. Can’t drink the diet stuff either as that aspartame is deadly for me (well not in the real sense of deadly but I “feel” like my tongue swells up if I eat anything with it in it). Rambling….. again

Alcohol and the night time snacking are related. They both take care of loneliness and boredom.

Yes I am in a relationship and for both of us, this is our third time around. We aren’t married and quite honestly, the way I have been feeling the last year (and especially lately), we will not be getting married. He is retired (and he just turned 50) and his lifestyle and mine are so different. I work all day, he sits around, watches TV and naps all day. I get home at night, make dinner and we eat. He watches TV, I go find something else to do as I don’t like watching TV (nothing worth while watching in my opinion). I get bored, and tired by 9:00 p.m., and go to bed. Since I get up either at 4:00 a.m., or 5:00 a.m. during the week (it depends on what my workout schedule is set for), I’m tired early in the evening. So once or twice a week we go out after I get home from work and we eat out. Usually at a bar where we both like to play the video game Golden Tee. We have a few beers, eat dinner, catch up on things then go home by 9:30 or so as I’m usually beat. It’s his night out after sitting around all day, and it’s my way of not having to make dinner and stave off some of the boredom I experience at home. So I have to figure out what to do at home to not be bored and change my schedule around a bit.

I can always exercise (but I've already done something first thing in the morning), walk the dog, clean the house (yuck) . I could play with a blog design (I have the SW at home), work on my photo’s, convert all my VHS tapes to DVD's but most of that involves being on the computer and after 8+ hours here at work, I just don’t want to do it at home. I read (lots) but that makes me tired sometimes and does not prevent me from snacking. I have no friends to hang out with. Isn’t that kind of sad? I’m actually a very nice, honest, easy going person and I just don’t have any girlfriends to hang with because all my adult life I have dedicated my entire self to my kids, and my spouses.

I need a car

If you’ve read this far, thanks. I’m not done but think this is enough of a rambling for today.
I hope everyone has a fantastic day.

Ttyl
Sandra

Hips are so sore :(

It’s  a drag to have an issue with one’s hips when it tends to affect any exercising you may want to do. I don’t know what caused them to be so bad in the first place but a Chiropractor once suggested that they way they are aligned, I must have really hurt my lower back at one time and the muscles tightened up to protect it. My right side is extremely tight and out of line. At one point I could hardly walk (years ago and hence the getting together with a Chiro) and although they did help ease the discomfort a bit, it wasn’t until I forced myself to move and stretch that it started to Move and Stretch  (if you know what I mean). I have very little flexibility in my hips and opening them wide hurts like the dickens. I’ve would love to go horseback riding but I know I would never be able to get off and move my hips. The damage would be too severe.

When I first started running April, I was in pain and eventually they loosened up enough that it stopped hurting. I still had a little flexibility but it didn’t hurt. 2.5 weeks of no aerobics and a hard mattress has put them back into the severe tight mode again.

So to help with that, this week I’ve only been walking and they are sore. I really want to start running again next week so I think a little extra stretching this week is going to be needed.

I’ve been working on my abs and lower back the last 2 evenings and my back doesn’t seem to be hurting as much – might have been the 50 lb backpack I was hauling along my 2 mile walk to the train every morning. I lightened the load this morning and it seems to be better today :)

And yesterday my calorie intake was too high. Did great all day then went out for dinner with friends we haven’t seen in awhile and the whole thing went out the window. Need to probably stay away from those scenes until I have better control over myself.

 

Hope everyone is having a fantastic day.

Changing my thought process.....

DO NOT PICTURE THIS IN YOUR MIND – a pink furry mouse.
Hmmmm… betcha you got that picture there right now don’t ya!!

So when I think “do not have those chips tonight”. What’s on my mind? Eating those chips. I’ve subconsciously put that desire in my brain and therefore I must appease it. Example is last night, after dinner I had decided I was full from dinner and would not snack on any chips (leftovers from Camping). As soon as I thought that, I had a craving for them. An hour later, while still trying to put stuff away, I visually saw the chips which re-enforced that desire. So I had a small helping to appease that desire. Key for me is to remove them entirely from the house until I can overcome this. If they aren't there, I can't easily dig into the bag.

So I’ve decided I’ve got to work on changing my thoughts (somehow). Put a daily picture of where I want to be, what I want to do, first thing each morning and only that desire. Nothing negative at all. No personal brow beating, no self reprimand, nothing. Can’t think about what I can’t have, or I’ll only crave it. Can’t think about not being able to lose weight, or I’ll get frustrated. And stepping on the scale has a lot to do with that one. As difficult as it is, I’ve got to reduce the number of times I step on that scale because each time I do it only re-enforces the negative thoughts (for me anyway).

So my goal for today is to only think positive thoughts and see how I feel by the end of it. I've already overcome the "I'm hungry today" thoughts as I changed my thoughts to "I'm thirsty" and had a cup of tea and another litre of water. The hunger "feeling" went away. I suspect I may go through a little detox trying to get rid of all the crap I ate in the last 3 weeks from caffiene, to salt, to sugar. I can do this!!!

Only 700 Blogs to go :)

Hope everyone has a fantastic day.

Sandra

Back and Determined...

Well I am living proof that it is very easy to very quickly get back out of shape. I did not lose any weight, nor did I gain any in the last three weeks of vacation. One would say “yahoo” to the “did not gain” portion of that sentence (normally) but I certainly did lose lean muscle. I can tell and it’s yucky. I feel absolutely horrible, physically and emotionally. I’m trying really hard not to take it personally and beat myself about what is done and moving forward from it. But I feel sick. Actually physically nauseated and I KNOW it is from not being active and not eating as healthily as I should have. I did not overeat (otherwise I would have gained weight) but I drank alcohol and ate some junk (chips… I love chips). I had complete good intentions, brought my bands, instructions, exercise mags, lots of apples, ate bananas every day (I have to eat those or I get cramps in my legs), but I did not exercise other than walking the dog twice a day (and thank goodness for having Katie around).

My BF is very inactive and it was so easy to get sucked into that inactive void. I spent most of my vacation upset with him and if he wasn’t going to exercise with me (like simply walking the dog), then the heck with him (and exercise). I walked the dog alone but not aerobically. Man I need to let it go and not get so upset with him. I swear I spent most of the last 3 weeks feeling sorry for myself rather than enjoying my time off of work. Maybe it is because 2 weeks out of the three I was cleaning up after and feeding guests (3 adult children, 1 10 year old… and a dog … and a BF). OK, I’m done with the moaning and now it’s time to get over myself and move on and get back into the swing of things.

Since I slept a little longer than I normally do (8-9 hours per night) in a bed that wasn’t all that good for my hips and back, I’m in a bit of pain. Not walking much didn’t help much and since I’ve lost some lean muscle mass, my core is probably most affected. I need to elongate my hip flexors , get them stretched back out again and re-strengthen my lower back. I walked my 2 miles to the train station this morning and about half way there, my hips started to really hurt. Not a good thing. So having experienced that this morning, I am going to have ease back into my learning to run program (C25K) and back up a few minutes (I was at 3x8 minute sessions before I left). If I push it right off the bat, I will hurt my back and put myself backwards even further. So this week I am going to concentrate on walking (lots) and core strengthening. Then next week I’m going to head strong into my jog/walks and Chalene Extreme weight workouts.

And I must stop drinking beer.

And I will blog everyday to be accountable.

And now I have 800+ blogs to catch up on reading

I hope everyone is doing well.

Ttyl

Sandra