Working on the new Plan....

I have finally completely read the Gabriel Method book.  The plan is simple enough, not really different than any other Clean Eating or Intuitive Eating type books I have read. After you read all these books, the concept is all the same. Positive thinking, nutritional food, eat when you are hungry, pay attention when you are eating, eat slower, stop when you are full, and exercise. None of these involve counting calories (YEAH). If I have to count calories, it drives me nuts, puts me in a diet mode and basically gets me all in a huff. Mind you…. it is a hard habit to break.

There are the basic things to focus on:

                The power of positive thinking

                Eating whole, live, nutritional food

                Get in your multivitamins and lots of Omega 3’s

                Exercise

I believe #1 is the main component of all of this.              

This weekend I am going to weigh, measure and take some pictures. They are going to be a record of where I have gotten to as well as a starting point for reaching my final goal.  I’m finding getting on the scale so demoralizing and I know my clothes are fitting differently so I’ve got to concentrate on those numbers and the visual presentation. I’ve had tons of folks telling me lately that they notice the difference. Me being who I am, have a hard time taking compliments (I have to work on this one) and usually say “it’s the new clothes I bought – they are more form fitting”. Which is true actually. I just bought a bunch of new tops that actually fit me and don’t hide anything. It’s a new thing for me to not have big and baggy. It really has helped me with my self-confidence. When I was with the Ex, I wore baggy gym clothes and sweat shirts… usually (except to work of course). Then after we split, I started to buy the pretty colored clothes, still big and baggy but not black/blue. So since I started down this road from a year ago, I’ve gone from a 1x-2x to a Large. I’m still broad in the shoulders so always had a hard time fitting into shirts comfortably…. I’ve also gone from an 18 pant to a 14. Some I can probably go lower but I’ve still got what I call thunder thighs so until they tone up, I have to stay in the 14/16 and  wear belts – which is also a new thing.

I’m also going to sit down and work out the plan this weekend. I work out the best and eat better if it is all laid out in front of me.

Have a FANTASTIC Day! And make Good Choices

Sandra

Oh and if you can, have a look at this post from Syl it’s a great post about “passing it forward”. A different kind of challenge….

Goals and Hot 100

Like Chris over at A Deliberate Life I have a goal to make for July of next year. In one of my recent “digging deep” posts, I mentioned ex hubby had a few choice words for me while we were splitting up. One that keeps out in front in my memory was when he called or rather yelled in my face that I was a “fat cow”. Nice eh? Anyway, even though I have let it go, it hurt at the time. I also mentioned that his youngest daughter (my step daughter) is still actively a part of my life. She spends almost all the holidays with me and my family and we see each other weekly. Well she is getting married in July to a very nice young man who loves her to death. Part of her is scared as she didn’t want to tell her Dad that I was coming to the wedding. When she brought it up, he got quite verbal and said some nasty things (he hasn’t grown up yet nor gotten over the whole thing). She just gets angry at him and tells him to grow up. It’s her day and she wants her Mom there. She does not remember much of her natural born Mother as she passed away when she was only 2. I am all she knows and still wants me to share this day with her. So being Me and who I am, I want to show him that I am NOT a fat cow and I want to be lookin HOT for that wedding. This I think is shallow and almost sounds vindictive but I want to look good and show him what he lost out on by being such an A$$. But I have a tangible goal to strive for, not that I haven’t for the last year, but this one is more out there for me. I really want to look good for that face to face meeting with him and the rest of his family.

So the plan is get into the best shape of my life. And I mean “of my life”. I’ve never been athletic and at 48, I think it’s about time. My weight loss has been so slow over the last year and that’s because I’ve made baby steps in changing my lifestyle. I’m eating cleaner 60% of the time and I need to make that 95% of the time (I don’t think 100% is attainable for me). But I’m still enjoying life while I’m doing this so it really really slows me down. A friend of mine wants me to join this weight loss clinic with her but it is very restrictive and low calorie based meals AND it is expensive. I KNOW I would only waste my money and as much as I would LOVE to lose 20-30lbs in a month, I want my body to adjust to the weight loss as it goes through this and with rapid weight loss like that, well it just would rebound if I tried to go back to my normal lifestyle. I’m just not into diets anymore as I think they have caused me more harm than good. I need to “learn” as I go and eat properly and provide my body with all the right nutrients. Crash dieting would only hurt me in the end. So I’ve chosen to let her know today that I’m not going to join with her but I’m there to help her along the way. She’s just like me in the social lifestyle aspect of things so for me it will be interesting to watch how she does. Besides, I want my skin to catch up to my weight loss so I’m still going to focus on the slow road (even with my July goal).

So I’m going to try to follow a clean lifestyle of eating raw, live, whole foods (things with no more  than 2 ingredients) and I know this is going to be a challenge because I have to feed two of us and I’m not sure how supportive the BF will be in eating the same stuff. I’ll have to modify things but I’ll do the best I can. Getting the “right” food is what the challenge is really going to be. There isn’t any local farmers markets or health food stores close to my home. But I will try to make the best of it and see how it goes.

For exercise, I’ve got to keep up my walking and my Turbo Jam for cardio until my hip is better and this week I’m going to start incorporating light weights to lengthen and strengthen my muscles. I’d love to hire a personal trainer in the new year and really get my butt kicked. But until my body is ready, I still have to take some baby steps.

Week 5 - Goals Update:

1.       1. Get up every (work) day at 4:00a to exercise YEAH – I did it – once I got going, 4:00 wasn’t so bad.

2. Make Healthy choices (even for those binge attacks if I get another one). Did fairly well – no more bingeing
   
   
3. Read the Gabriel Method book – YUP did this, almost completed the book. Part on emotional obesity created my two digging posts
   
   

Week 6 – Goals for the week:

This being Wednesday, I’m a little behind in my week but it’s still the plan:

1.    Establish Positive thoughts each night before I go to sleep (from Gabriel Book)

2.    Eat 1800 calories a day

3.    Exercise 6x this week

I don’t know if I am going to log all my food here or not but it might be interesting to see what I eat or how I do with the whole eating thing. Would anyone be interested in reading about this type of stuff? Leave a comment if you think it’s worthwhile or if there is enough sites out there that provide the same thing. Mind you… this is for me isn’t it ? J

Have a FANTASTIC week and make good choices.

Sandra

Glad that is Over....

Interesting how something just comes out of the blue - like my last two posts. I start reading a book, and whamo! I'm diggin in to see what's up?? Well, I'm not 100% sure I found my answer but what I did see was interesting. I don't feel angry at all but I guess buried down deep within, I was/am. I'm not sure how to get it out and let it go but time will tell.

So back to the regularly scheduled life of Sandra !

During the night, I could hear it raining, and pretty heavily as well.

Then shortly after I got up (by the way, I'm liking this sleeping in thing), it started to snow. Big fluffy flakes - I really like them and they can quickly blanket the ground.

My main man is over for a visit this weekend. I love this little boy so much! He is 6 years old and lives with his Mom outside of the city I live in. He is my son's little boy and unfortunately it didn't work out between them, but I've kept close contact with her and my G-son. I have a very LARGE extended family. Between my Kids, My step Kids, my BF Kids, there is quite a few of them. Christmas can get expensive.

I couldn't get him to smile right but he is cute no matter what :)

 

 

 

 

My exercise has been good. I've either been walking (lots) or doing my Turbo Jam Cardio session. I love these ones as they fly by and are a lot of fun. Great core workout at the same time. The only thing I can't do is kick to the side or kick backwards because of my hip but I modify it. I'm going to start with light weights, lots of reps next week just to get the blood flowing and the muscles ready to start working out. All in All, I'm pleased with how this past week went.

Now we all know I've been binge challenged at the end of the day this past week. I know it is from boredom because I've been on my own but it hit me twice this week. My binges aren't that bad, but I've had them nonetheless. I talked to Sharon (my biofeedback/nutritionist friend) about it and after discussing how I eat, she figures I am just not eating enough during the day and that by the time I get home, I go a little crazy looking for something. Once I start on the carbs (popcorn/chips), I'm toast.

So I've got to figure out how to eat more rather than the less that I've been doing. I think my breakfast and lunch are fine, I'm going to add more to my snacks. Problem is that I am NOT hungry. Books I'm into right now are stating eat only when hungry, Sharon wants me to eat to kick start my metabolism. NO more DIET so I've got to let my body know that it won't be lacking food. It will be interesting to see how this goes.

This being Saturday, I KNOW I do not eat enough on the weekends. Something I need to fix.

I hope everyone is having a fantastic day/weekend and make good choices. And thank you for Visiting :)

ttyl

Sandra

BachFlower today: PINE - Guilt

More Digging....

I wrote my blog, then saved it in draft. I then went off to my Biofeedback specialist and had my second session. It was very very interesting. It was very connected to what I am about to write and what I wrote about yesterday afternoon.
And thank you for your comments yesterday, it was appreciated…..


Continued Saga from yesterday....


I got all hooked up to the machine and she mentioned that I looked like a different person. I’m still low on my minerals but getting better. Still need to work on the parasite and liver detox though so will be continuing that for another two weeks.  Then I asked her to ask my body what it was that I was hiding. What was buried so deep within that after all these years of meditating, I have not found it yet. So she plugged in the word "Overweight" and its response was this:  "Too many Shoulders | Fear of Loss | Who or What are you trying to hold on to" 


Then black olives came up (I know what this means), and L2 which comes from Louise Hay's "Heal your Body". L2 is "Stuck in childhood pain." My healing response is to be "I grow beyond my parents' limitations and live for myself. It is my turn now".  And Anger, Guilt,  fear of being alone. There was tons more that was related in a roundabout way.


So after the session, I'm pretty confident that my issue is my dealing with, or rather not dealing with, my fathers’ death. Folks that was almost 19 years ago - You'd think I would be over that by now. This is what I remember.


The day of the funeral, we were at my parents house, basically still all in shock. A friend of the family walked in the door and the very first words he said to me where "My aren't you like after your Dad, You've gained weight" ( I think this comment is key to my keeping the weight on). To this day, I remember that comment very clearly. It made me angry  at that time because this particular person was known for not thinking before opening his mouth. Anyway, I thought I was over it with the understanding of who it came from, you know, think of the source..... I'm thinking I'm not..... Note the comment “Like your Dad”….


I do remember pushing my children away and not dealing with or allowing myself to grieve. I think I felt I had to be strong and in order to be strong, I couldn't get too close to anyone. Unfortunately that included my kids. They so totally did not understand this (they were still young) and were left not understanding what happened or even what they did wrong. We have since talked to a great length about it and I have apologized and explained why. (I did not understand the Why until I lost my Mother).


I do remember some of my friends saying that I was getting hard, that I had this brick wall up around me, that I wasn't letting anyone in. No one can hurt you if you don't let them get too close. I'm a very kind, gentle, caring person that would do everything and anything for anyone. I just never let anyone do anything for me because that made me vulnerable.  I needed to be strong… for everyone else.


So of course all this means, I carried a huge load on my shoulders. My brother and sister were younger than me (I'm the oldest of the family) and it hit my brother hard - he was very very angry and I think he still is (to this day). My sister as well had a hard time and still struggles talking about him. But she admitted to me she was angry. I think I too was angry at my father for leaving us so soon. He was my rock too and I loved him very much. He died so fast, it was such a shock, none of us knew what hit us. I still remember that night very clearly....  And then of course there was my Mom to now look after.


So after all this time, I think I need to sit down, dig deep, forgive my father for leaving me with such a huge responsibility (I’m pretty sure that is how I looked at it back then – it was my choice in taking on that load not my father’s), I need forgive myself (remove the guilt) for feeling angry (this is a foreign feeling for me), and tell him it's OK and that I'm OK and everyone else is OK and to let it all go.


I even remember having a dream after my Mom passed, about my Dad, and his exact words were “I’m OK you can let go now”. I didn’t pay attention until now…


So now I have to tell my body that I don't need this fat to protect me anymore, I don't need to be “like my Dad”  anymore and that I've taken down the wall...... I no longer need to be the ROCK!


Now I think I need to work through my Mom’s stuff….. because it obviously wasn’t dealt with much either…. I was too busy being the strong, calm, in control one……


She was a tough one to deal with. When she got sick, she kind of gave up. She wouldn’t eat, she had no motivation, no get up and go. I kind of don’t blame her but I think I was mad at her for not at least trying to beat the cancer. I made her all her favorite things to try to get her to eat but she hardly did. I spent all my time with her trying to get her to live, but she just slowly just gave up. I’m not sure what was harder on me, the suddenness of my Dad, or having to watch my Mother die. It was a tough thing to go through (I do not wish that experience on anyone) and I again had to be the ROCK for my family …. Still am in a way being the oldest of the family. I am OK with my Mom’s passing as I did not want her to suffer anymore but I think, now that I’ve written it out, I was angry at her for not trying harder. But I also  understand why. With my father gone, my Mom really just wanted to let go now that she had an excuse….and she was in pain.

For years afterwards, I joined a spiritual group where I learned to meditate and I learned to understand death a bit more. I’m OK with death now (I used to be terrified) and my beliefs are pretty strong. Quite honestly, it is what kept me together after all of this…. I accept my Dad and Mom’s death, but I think it was the more emotional anger that I forgot to work out.


I really am not looking for sympathy in these posts, they are for me to finally get it out. I’m sorry if I sound at all “woe is me” because that is not my intent. I just need to work this out and obviously didn’t know how. Journaling could be my best friend right now.



So just to note:


I have grown quite a bit emotionally in the last 3-5 years with the help of my current BF. He has somehow managed to break down most of my walls and I am able to talk and be quite open with him. I try not to bundle anything inside anymore and to let him know when I have concerns or just need to talk.  But this also means I get easily hurt (feeling vulnerable) by some of his actions or lack of (I might get into them at a later date). Our relationship is not perfect but I think most of the issue is with me and my expectations (I've grown up a tad). I think after all these years of taking care of everyone else, now that I'm finally starting to take care of ME, I think he should be too :) I want to be treated the same way I treat him.... ya know!  Spoilt... I deserve it :)


My life now is good, I have a good paying job, a nice home, I take tropical vacations twice a year (this is only since I met BF), my kids are healthy, I am healthy, so there should be no reason to be hanging on to anything from the past…..


Now I just need to get over my insecurity about myself – spending so much time being a “ROCK”, I’m still insecure about myself….. and I thought I had it all together….
Thank you for sharing my story….

Digging Within...

Sorry folks, this is more for me than you and I’m kind of trying to dig to see if I can see a way out....

Without re-living and again dealing with the emotions of whatever it was that is causing me distress internally, how does one analyze a past situation? I don’t “feel” like I have any hidden issues. I mean I went through some stuff in my twenties that may have caused emotional baggage but none of it is as bad as some folks that I read about on blog land. I guess we are all different and deal with things differently and maybe a little thing set me off to gaining weight? When I was 25, I left my first husband with a 2 & a4 yr old child. He was verbally abusive and basically a jerk and at the end of that he called me “Fat”. I probably weighed maybe 150lbs if even that…. But it hurt. I left him very insecure about myself. That was his goal with his verbal abuse. Made me feel very bad about myself. I think he was hoping I’d never have the courage to leave him…. But I did.

I think the stress of raising two small children on my own, with no income, added some weight. He was stalking me as well. Wouldn’t pay child support, quit working, slept on park benches just so that the law couldn’t get him to pay me support – can’t get money if there isn’t any coming in. He was heavily into drugs as well (that's where he got his money) and then spent some time going in and out of jail. There is a WHOLE lot more to this story that I'm not going to reveal but I also know this is not what caused me to gain weight.

Then the boredom and lonelienss set in and I started hanging with my parents and started to drink beer with them on Saturday afternoons. Before that I didn’t even like the stuff at all I'm not even sure if I drank much of anything at all back then.…. I was lonely and bored. I ate chips at night watching TV after the kids went to bed.

Then I lost my father and I ended up replacing him in my mother’s life. He was her rock and she didn’t know what to do without him. So the kids and I moved in with her to help out and I became her rock.

Then I met husband #2 via the internet. It was love at first sight. When in reality, it was “here’s a guy who can finally take care of me and allow me to let go for a change”. My Mom was more stable, and I continued to financially support her for many years after moving out. But man I was wrong about Husband #2. I ended up with 3 more kids and one grown one. My load was heavier.

I got as high as 230lbs and on my short 5’1” frame, it was quite large for me. I understand that a lot of folks are/have been heavier but for me, that was the tops. Then in ’99 I started to finally take control of myself and my life and started to exercise and eat properly. I got down to 172 – my lowest since my 20’s. I was feeling good. Then my Mom was diagnosed with cancer and I got my “take care of the world” load back on again (not that it really ever left, it was just a LOT bigger all of a sudden). I actually moved in with her (left hubby and 5 kids and 2 dogs, 2 cats) at home while I took care of my Mom.  My office (where I still work) allowed me to work from her home. Paid for internet service and everything…. (guess that’s why I’m still here). She passed away 2 days after my 40^th birthday. And we buried her on Sept 11, 2001. At the time, I couldn’t figure out why hardly anyone came to her funeral – later that day I found out why.

Then exhubby and I sold our home and moved to an acreage which was a hour+ commute from home to work one way – in the winter it almost doubled. I thought it was what I wanted, to live out in the country, fresh air, and so on (I think it still is but not the way this one went). We had llama’s, alpaca’s, donkeys, dogs… lots and lots of dogs, chickens, cats, a garden and I/we still worked full time in the city. By this time, 3 of the kids had moved out and we were left with only the two youngest children. All of it was just too much for me. I just steadily kept gaining weight. I drank beer. Lots and lots of beer but so did Hubby. I guess that’s how we dealt with things. Then he had a mild heart attack… not really an attack but something like it (I can’t remember anymore what it was). I was AGAIN taking care of someone. But this time it was someone who didn’t want to take care of himself. I watched him smoke more, drink more, and go deeper into depression. See I don’t suffer from depression, never have, never will. Sure I get the blues, but not that deep down depression that he suffered from and my natural born daughter does as well. So I just didn’t understand it, I couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t talk to me, why he started drinking at 9:00 in the morning, nothing at the farm was getting done, he was off work on sick leave so I had to make the 2 hour daily commute by myself. We had a couple we used to hang out with and she suffered from depression as well and the two of them got along quite well. Probably too well. I sat at their place once and watched them fall asleep on the couch in each other’s arms one time… and he said there was nothing going on… J Duh…

So I left him in 2005 (9 years of marriage). He called me so many nasty names, fat cow was one of them. He was the type of man that if things didn’t go his way, then he lashed out. He lashed out very hard at me. He was not easy to talk to. I never did truly love him, I thought I had met a man who could finally take care of me and in the end it was me taking care of him and his children. My mom never did want me to marry him – I should have listened. Please note, we did have some good times in our marriage – it wasn’t ALL bad.

So the divorce was kind of ugly, the whole thing was nasty and I spent a few years feeling guilty about it all. 2 of his children won’t talk to me as they only know/hear their dad’s side of the story, where as the youngest still calls me Mom and we see each other frequently. She likes me better than her own father sometimes (he is that judgmental).

So now here I am trying to lose weight and although I KNOW how to do it, I seem to be constantly sabotaging myself. I drink once or twice  a week. A far cry from every single day drinking 6-12 beers. But I know it is not helping me at all. I eat popcorn and chips when I get the craving (I do not have a sweet tooth … it’s the salt I crave). If I didn’t buy them, I wouldn’t eat them but I do, and there ya go….

What am I hiding from? Why does drinking beer, or eating salty snacks provide me with a sense of satisfaction? What am I looking for or rather what am I afraid of? What is buried so deep inside this body (soul) of mine that is causing me this distress (fat).

hmmmmmm.....

Happy Tuesday... now that Monday's Over...

Oh, I am so behind…. I’ve got blogs to read and blogs to write… and I am SO enjoying my single life at home. I miss them terribly but I like doin my own thing….

I did fairly well on the weekend for food, had a bit of junk here and there (popcorn  -  which I truly don’t think is too junky)…  I’m trying to eat only when hungry which amazingly is around every 3 hours. I’ve been eating like that for so long that it seems to be what my body wants. I finally found the Intuitive Eating book at the book store on the weekend. They have not had a copy anywhere for the last month or so, so now I can read through it and decide what I am going to do. I also bought two more books, the Gabriel Method and Love your Body, Love your Life. I had never heard of the Gabriel Method before I saw it at the bookstore but it looked interesting so I bought it. I’ll let you know what I think once I get through the book. Could be a scam but it might be worth just to read through it.

I’m all about removing the word “DIET” from my life right now.

Exercise was excellent. I’m back in my walking & Turbo Jammin groove again. Yahoo I’m starting to feel good again. Hip still  is sore but I’m stretching and I can sleep. The memory foam thing I bought last week seems to be helping with the pressure.

Hot 100 Update:

Now last night, I had an issue. Not sure what came over me but it did and before I knew it I over ate. At 8:30 when I was talking to the BF to get the days update on the hunting trip, my belly was big, bloated and uncomfortable. I knew what I was doing at the time I was doing it, but I just kept on stuffing. WTF was up with that???

I’m over it now but man, that was horrible J

So all in all, I did well with all my goals except #4. Most part because of last night’s binge, but mostly because I don’t get home until late some days and eating after 7 is all the time I have. I may, just may, have to move it up a half hour or so.

Week 4 Goal Update:

1. Positive Attitude Everyday - I think I did pretty good here, I've been feeling good lately

2. Walk 6x this week - I only made it out 4 sessions

3. Do a Turbo Jam Session 3x - I only made it 2x

4. Closely follow my nutrition guide for liver cleanse - well I could have done better.

5. Journal all changes - YUP did this without fail. Bought ANOTHER new book too!

Week 5 - Goals for this week:

1. 
   
   Get up every (work) day at 4:00a to exercise
   
2. Make Healthy choices (even for those binge attacks if I get another one).
   
   
   
3. Read the Gabriel Method book

 OK I've got some blogs to catch up on....

Have a FANTASTIC day and make good choices

Sandra

Happy Friday!

Well day one down of being on my own. I think I'm going to get very very bored. So I think I'll purge my house, start cleaning stuff out that we don't use and haven't for some time. My issue is the no vehicle thing while BF is gone but I can still try to fit some stuff into my daughers car to take to goodwill. I'm purging my body and my home at the same time... needs to be done and this is the perfect time to do it.

I'm also going to start working out a bit more to keep me from putting things in my mouth as I tend to do when I'm bored. As part of this cleanse, I am to walk 30 minutes each day paying attention to my senses and keeping my HR really low. Means I can't walk very fast but it is very stress releasing and relaxing. Can't eat if I'm walkin so I'll be doing that more often.  I also have to do my cardio type walking 3x a week so I'll need to pick up the pace for those days. I had been doing a lot of outdoor walking but now that the weather is crap, I'm back in on the treadmill or the Tread Climber. Basically, it's time to get my ass moving at a faster rate. With lots of stretching, my hip should be fine. If I don't stretch is when it could cause me issues... so I'll stretch. I did a lot of walking the last couple of days, and had a hot bath before bed last night and so I slept better (not as much pressure pain).... OR maybe it was because there was no snoring beside me... I don't know... :)

So..........

Thank you to Helen for this lovely blog award.

I'm really honored by her gift.








I want to pass it forward to so many people but can't select just a few - I'm good for giving it to everyone who's blog I read as I find almost everyone inspirational.  But so that I don't seem like I'm flaking out on the "pay it forward", I am going to list a few lovely people here:

Erin over at Losin It
Lori-Ann at Amazon Runner (you are one again.... :)
Karen at *FiTCETERA* (you too are getting another one :)
Helan at Doin a 180 (back at ya)
Doc at DownsizingDoc
Chris at A Deliberate Life

I could keep going........

I hope every one has a FANTASTIC day and make good choices

Sandra

I just realized something...

For the very first time in over 10.5 months , I will actually get to
sleep in on the weekend (while at home or even trailer). I have gotten
up everyday with Katie since the day we got her. She is used to our
schedule during the week. I get up, exercise, shower, let her out to
feed, visit and do her outside business. Then when it is time for me
to get dressed for work all I have to do is look at her, no commands
at all, and she just stops whatever she is doing and goes straight for
her kennel. She then naps until BF crawls out of bed. On the weekends
she wakes up early and starts to Yip, which eventually turns into a
bark, and by then I am wide awake and get up to let her out. The
latest this has ever been is 8:00 am. It's kind of like she is saying
"HEY get up you are LATE!!" This weekend and the next I can take my
time. (How many takers I'll be up by 7:00. :)

I don't know who I am going to miss more - Katie or the BF :)

So today I have been extra hungry. Not sure why other than Uncle TOM
(sorry Jack) is about to visit and my hormones must be in a wreck
(think BF timed his trip for this coming week on purpose... Heehee)
but I have so far made healthy choices - an extra apple, some seeds
and a protein bar. But it all still adds up in calories so I still
need to be careful. Tonight will be a test. Especially since I changed
one of my HOT 100 goals to not eat after 7:00 pm.

Well it is a short one today.

I hope everyone has a fantastic day and make good choices.
Sandra
--
Sent from my mobile device

This is how yucky it is here.....

This was at 10:30 MST this morning. It has been snowing for almost two days straight.

I have not been walking to work because of all the snow and I don't have a good pair of walking boots. In fact the pair I was wearing yesterday have a slight heel, and I walked about a mile or so to my local community health store to pickup some "stuff" and today my quads hurt... what's up with that. I must walk differently when it is slippery and keep my legs tense in case I hit a slippery patch. Freakin snow :)

Betcha you are glad you don't live here.....

I've decided I wasn't going to go hunting with BF this coming weekend. I was to go for 4 days but the wife of the other hunter isn't going and since I truly do hate cold weather, I'd just end up staying in the trailer by myself quite often... not my idea of fun. And the BF hadn't arranged with the EX that he not have his 10 year old son this weekend. Now I absolutely love this young man but 3 out of 4 of my vacation weeks in the summer, he was with us and quite frankly, I didn't want to spend my last 2 days of paid vacation watching a 10yr old while his dad was off hunting, in a trailer where he has not much to do but complain about not having much to do (really who can blame us for staying in the trailer with the weather the way it is). Young man would have gone off hunting with his dad once, got bored (which happens easily) and then would have just stayed with me the whole time. So I'm opting to save my last two days (to make another long weekend sometime) and just stay at home with him. He has so much more stuff to do at our house. We get him 3 out of 4 weekends in each month so he has lots of his own stuff there and we bought a Wii a couple of weeks ago....we have fun with it. I'll get to see Katie retrieve another time.

I'd rather just be home and able to do my own thing than sitting in my trailer with a miserable ten year old. And besides - I now will have the house (after YMan leaves) to myself for the next 10 days...I'll miss him terribly but I also crave this yearly time off/away from each other.

On to other things....

I have this posted on my PC today....

Everyone should check out the http://www.operationbeautiful.com/ website - I think it has a great goal!

I'm posting these on the mirrors here at work today.

Cleansing progress:

I think the cleanse was going well up to last night. I had to add two more things yesterday (hence trip to health store) and I'm not sure they agree with me. OR I really needed the cleanse and they are working the way they are supposed to. I don't want to go into TMI but I was not comfortable last night. Will see what today brings and if the same result, I may have to back off the dosage a bit. I must say though, up to that point (10:30 last night) I was feeling pretty good. A lot less tired and drained. So I'm really hoping this is going to help me feel more like myself again.

So of course my sleep was disturbed by the discomfort and my freakin hip (still) - however this is not the inflamation type pain I experienced in early September, but rather a pressure pain on the side of my hips.

It has been really sore to sleep on it (either side) and only if I have the pillow between my legs does it ease off. But have you ever slept with a pillow between your legs the entire night and expect it to really stay that way? I seem to be "hunting" for it all the time. I purchased a smaller one yesterday afternoon to see if it will work better but I still kept losing it last night :). And I bought a 1.5" memory foam pad for my side of the bed to see if it would ease some of the pressure off. Must say I did not notice much of a difference last night. Well one day at a time......

Enough rambling for today.

I hope everyone has a fantastic day and keep on making good choices.

Sandra
"I am at my perfect weight for my body today".

Weekend and Hot 100 Update

I feel like I’ve been MIA from blogland as I just didn’t have time on the long weekend to read any blogs, never mind update my own. I was busy all three days. I cleaned, I worked out, I cleaned, I cooked, I cleaned, I wore myself out, (did I mention I cleaned?).

Saturday afternoon, my daughter and I went to the mall and did some shopping. I bought some new clothes for work, a new pair of jeans that actually fit and don’t have baggy bottom syndrome going on, and two new pairs of shoes. I’m tired of wearing running shoes all the time because my feet are so sensitive to heels so I bought two nice comfortable work happy shoes. Then we went to see the Blue Man Group. We were in the fourth row from the stage – it was great. Here is a picture I took with my little camera.

I had seen them last September in Las Vegas but my daughter never had and she thoroughly enjoyed the entire show. It was a very nice mother/daughter date.

Then Sunday, I did a repeat of Saturday morning, clean, workout, clean, cook, clean…. You know… House isn’t that messy or dirty but I was cleaning & cooking as I went along. I wanted to have almost everything pre-done so that I could visit with my family for once.

Ended up having 15 people for dinner and the meal was perfect. Everyone enjoyed it and I finally relaxed at around 9:00 p.m. last night. Tonight I’ll work on the leftovers etc.

I did not sleep well Sunday night, nor last night. I have my suspicions as to why so tonight I need to make some changes. But other than that, I’ve been surprisingly feeling really good. I am only taking a few supplements right now and a few new ones so that I can cleanse my liver and kidney. They seem to be working because I’m actually feeling better, less tired and a bit more energy. I can’t imagine how I’ll feel after I’m completely clean (not possible but I can hope) of all crap out of my system.

=============================================

Week 3 Hot 100 Long Term Goal Update:

1. Drink plenty of water - completed
2. Take all my supplements - completed
3. Exercise at least 30 minutes a day - completed one way or another.
4. Increase my strength training to 3 x a week – Did not do any strength training as per my holistic nutrionist and other folks so I think I need to replace this or I will fail it every week.
5. Lose 24lbs by end of the year - down 4.8 lbs since 09/15 (I gained 1.4 lbs last week L )

Week 3 – Last week’s goal Update:

1.    Positive Attitude every day – I think I did pretty good in keeping my head in the right place
2. Walk 4 x this week (not stating from home to work as it has already started snowing here and I just don't have the shoes for long outdoor walks just yet (will be going shopping soon for boots). - Completed
3. Make the right choice when selecting what goes in my mouth at least 6 out of 7 days. – I didn’t do as good as I wanted to here and need to improve it. I’m hoping with the new plan, things will be better as I have a real goal in mind for the result of this (other than weight loss).
4. Journal everything that goes in my mouth – I did good here except the weekend.

==============================================

Week 4 - This week’s goals (not repeating anything I have in the Hot 100 Goals)

1.    Positive Attitude every day (I have a couple of affirmations I am going to repeat daily – 1. I am at my perfect weight at this time, and 2. I release and eliminate toxins from my body.)
2.    Walk 6 x this week
3.    Do a Turbo Jam session 3x
4. Closely follow my nutrition guide for liver cleanse.
5. Journal all changes that I experience as it will help me when I feel like straying from the program.

Ok, back to reading more blogs… I mean back to work I go…. J

Hope everyone has a fantastic day and make good choices.

Sandra

Long Weekend for us Canadians

I hope today finds everyone in great spirits and full of determination. I know for me it’s been kind of … I don’t know… blah! Kind of......

Well maybe not really blah per se, but well  blah.

You know, that kind of day. Can’t decide what to do.

I said to the biofeedback practitioner last night, “I have this brain that is absolutely filled with data on how to eat right, lose weight, exercise, be peaceful, less stressful, smile, cry, ….. but there is so much of it in there, I can’t put it all in order right now”.

That’s how I feel today.

I’ve got to change my strategy because this one isn’t working. You know the saying – “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. I feel like that’s me.

Part of the biofeedback discussion was to talk about what supplements I am taking – so I listed them all – and there are quite a few that I take throughout the day and every one of them is good for me. However according to my body, I’m still lacking in some areas. Let me go back a few years.

At one part of my life, I had such horrible acid reflux that it was difficult to eat anything without suffering. This was how I dealt with stress at the time – everything was internal and my body suffered from it. My Dr. immediately prescribed stuff like Zantac, and other acid reducing medication to reduce the acid behavior in my stomach. Sometimes even with taking those pills to reduce the acid in my stomach I would still get the acid reflux – did not make sense to me.

About 5 years ago I had my very first biofeedback session and this guy was also a naturopathic practitioner. What he saw, or the machine saw, was that the issue was not that my body was producing too much acid, it wasn’t producing enough. The acid reflux was from a lack of acid (I still don’t get how that works). So he suggested that I take Apple Cider instead of taking the Zantac (or whatever it was at the time). So I did and wow, what a difference. I took it faithfully throughout the day (especially with meals) and my problem went away.  What he did discover was that because I did not have any acid to breakdown my food properly, I was not absorbing any nutrients from my food or any vitamins I might have been taking at that time. Hence why I felt like crap all the time. Now I don't need any Apple Cider at all as I exercise to handle the stress and I think I've evened things out a bit more.

Over the years I’ve added different supplements to help me break down my foods and absorb the nutrients but I’m still struggling. I MUST take a digestive enzyme with my food or I don’t get much out of it. So what does all this have to do with anything??

Looks like I’m still not getting enough of some stuff and maybe some of the stuff I am taking just isn’t working for me. So I’m cutting back to virgin supplements and will work with Sharon and add things in one at a time and see how it goes. It is fortunate that she is also a nutritionist and will be advising me what to eat along with all of this. Looks like I have to detox as well (eeuuww parasites yuck).

I think this biofeedback thing is amazing and unfortunately can be expensive to have the sessions but I’m fortunate that this is the wife of a co-worker so I get the friend of the family price. She is going to work with me for the next little while to get my body back in order (on the inside). Then I will work on the outside.

So this blog may take on a different flavor for awhile as she also recommended that I only walk and do yoga/pilates for my exercise. No strength training.

So Steve, can I change my HOT 100 and remove the Strength Training line? And still keep in the game?

J

Please…..

Happy Thanksgiving to any Canadians that Read this…..

I will be good on the weekend as I’m having 18+ people over to my tiny little house on Sunday and I have NO IDEA where I am going to feed them all. It will be interesting.

I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend and make good choices.

Sandra

OH I don't know what to call it....

Good day everyone, I hope you are all having a fantastic day! It is cold, windy and snowy here and I'm not looking forward to walking to my late afternoon appointment. But I dressed warm (more or less) and I have long hair which can act as a hat if I keep it tucked in my coat so I should be fine. I really don't like the cold and think I was born on the wrong side of the continent. Between the altitude that gives me headaches and cold that brings the snow, I think I should just move down south! Whatcha all think? Yup, I agree!

So I thought I would take a picture of my lunch today with my phone to see how it turned out. The lunch was delish, but the picture is blah. I've gotten spoiled using my Nikon since I got it last February.

The sprouts are home grown as I have a three tiered tray where I can soak them and grow them in a matter of days. It's rather good to add to sandwiches or salads - and I've even just eaten these ones by hand as I like the taste and the crunch. Now that's whole foods.

I'm trying to eat every 2-2.5 hours this week but yesterday I found I was really hungry when I got home. Now was I really hungry or was I associating home with the "Oh I'm going to be bored" syndrome and off my brain went to say "boredom time let's eat"? Or was I actually hungry because I did not have any protein during the day. I'm kind of doing a test to see how my body is with very little protein right now. I'm tellin ya - it doesn't like it as I'm a fast oxidizer and I need my meat.

Now I did get protein during my dinner meal.. I had purchased a tray of cabbage rolls from a vendor at a farmers market during the summer and I pulled them out of the freezer and we had them for dinner last night. I had two on my plate and when I finished one of them, I had this really weird sensation of "Wow, am I ever full". But what did I do??? I finished the second roll rather than save it for later. Why would I do that? I'm trying to change my eating habits to listen to my body and then I just downright ignore it. What's up with that? One of these days Ethel, I'll.........

So exercising.... hmmm. Walking - yup, I have that down pack. I do my two miles almost every day in the morning on the way to work. But it's not a all get-out-sweat-it-up workout because I am in my dress clothes with my newly washed hair and winter coat. Once I get there, I have to then sit on a commuter train with 10,000 other people for the next 35 minutes - sweaty I do not want to be (and I'm exaggerating on the 10,000 - more like 1,000). My post yesterday kind showed I'm getting a bit frustrated. Massage terrorist said to me this morning, while she was ripping my body apart , that "We should have you running by Christmas". CHRISTMAS... That's still two months away... :(

I've got to do something more strenuous  before that.....

Well I think I've ranted enough for one day and will let this go for now. This afternoon's appointment is a biofeedback session where I get hooked up to a bunch of wires and this machine tells me things about my body and the state it is in. At first I was skeptical about it but when it would state things I hadn't mentioned to the practitioner, well I kind of started to believe. I'll let you know the results tomorrow.

Everyone have a fantastic Day and make good choices.

Sandra

My lack of early morning motivation.....

I NEED TO GET MOVING!! Sorry wasn’t yelling at you, was to myself. I was sooooooooo good at getting up every day at 4:00 a.m. to get downstairs and working out. Then summer happened - Yup, haven’t gotten up that early since. I still get up at 5 to get ready for work but no working out. It sucks. It takes 21 days for something to become a habit and only 7 to break it J. I find I’m so tired by the end of the day that I don’t want to exercise, I just want to go to bed (and I’m sometimes in there as early as 8:30). I’m getting enough sleep now that I’m lights out at 9:30 and away by 5 (that is if I sleep all night - which I don’t). I’ve got that 4 hour deep sleep when I first close my eyes, but after that (around 1:00 a.m.), I wake up and then snooze between then and when the alarm goes off. If my hip hurts, then it isn’t so much of a snooze as much as it is trying to find a comfortable position…. Sucks…

I’m getting in my walks and lots of stretching and some core work but I really need to kick my butt and get back to doing lots more, really break out in a sweat. I’ve been told to not strength train until I can get my tight-shorter-than-normal muscles to lengthen and stretch (this includes my upper back and shoulders as well as my hip area) so my brain just turned off strength training completely. I’ve managed to do it a couple of sessions each week for the last two but not any more than that because I keep putting it off because I’ve been told not to do it. I did it anyway (because I KNOW it’s good for me) and I have it as one of my goals listed over there on the right side bar. I think it is because I’m only walking and not running so I’m not feeling the “burn”, or “ OMG I’ve just had a fantastic workout” feeling for the last 5 weeks because of the physical issues that I was going through with the hip and all. But now it only hurts when I sleep on it or move the wrong way so I THINK there is no reason I can’t pick up my cardio a bit more. Maybe I’m not ready for running but I can certainly kick my butt on my Treadclimber or walk faster during my walks.

So while this blog was in draft mode, I read these two posts Move it People! And this one from Michelle Thanks Ladies, I needed that.

I’m posting this as is with no other further explanation to myself about what I need to do… I think I know already.

I hope everyone has a fantastic day and makes good choices

I know I’m changing mine today J

Sandra

Wow - Thanks Lori-Ann

I am honored to be given my very first blog award from Lori-Ann at Amazon Runner – I just don’t know what to say. Well a big “Thank You” for starts. Check out Lori-Ann's website, she has some fantastic things to share.

So from here I guess I am to write one word answers after each of the following 35 questions and then pass the award onto 6 fellow bloggers (that is going to be hard to choose).

1. Where is your cell phone? Desk & Backpack (I have two)
2. Your hair? soft
3. Your mother? Passed
4. Your father? Passed
5. Your favorite food? sushi
6. Your dream last night? forgotten
7. Your favorite drink? Green Tea
8. Your dream/goal? Fit
9. What room are you in? office
10. Your hobby? reading
11. Your fear? spiders
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Somewhere Tropical
13. Where were you last night? Home
14. Something that you aren’t? Dishonest
15. Muffins? nope
16. Wish list item? Toyota FJ
17. Where did you grow up? Hanna, Alberta
18. Last thing you did? Walk
19. What are you wearing? Clothes J
20. Your TV? Which one?
21. Your pets? Dog & Cat
22. Friends? A few
23. Your life? busy
24. Your mood? content
25. Missing someone? My Mom
26. Vehicle? None
27. Something you’re not wearing? hat
28. Your favorite store? Chapters
29. Your favorite color? Blue
30. When was the last time you laughed? 10:30 a.m.
31. Last time you cried? Month or more
32. Your best friend? Sister
33. One place that I go to over and over? Blogland
34. One person who emails me regularly? Facebook
35. Favorite place to eat? The Vietnamese Village

Now I would love to bestow this award to the following bloggers (and this was not easy as there are so many good blogs I read):

Erin at Losin It
South Beach Steve
Sandi at 45 & Aspiring
Diana at Diana’s Weight Loss Journey
Helen at Doing a 180
Marie at Lose 2 Win … No More Excuses
And you know I could keep on with this list as there are so many inspirational blogs that I read everyday. Basically this award could go to everyone of the folks listed in my Blog Roll over there on the right.

Emotional Eating...

I find when I get upset, to the point of being angry, I DO NOT WANT TO EAT! I feel physically ill to my stomach and food is the last thing I want. Unfortunately, (actually it is fortunate) but I rarely get angry so I don’t often get this feeling. But when I do…… man I don’t like it.

I got upset right before dinner on Sunday, something that really just literally pissed me right off. And there was no way I was hungry for dinner, not even the slightest bit. But not to be rude, I ate anyway. A small amount, but I ate. It was a really weird experience for me. Since I don’t have all my Bach Remedies yet (they are expensive to buy) I didn’t have the right one with me to help me deal with the anger quickly. I rarely get mad and it was still with me almost all yesterday. But then the “I don’t want to eat” feeling went away and I was hungry all day long. I’m not sure if I was dealing with the emotional stuff or if I just didn’t eat enough on Sunday and was feeling the after effects of it. This one is going to take some more analyzing. Hmmmmm……

Unfortunately when I am bored, nothing works… I want to eat. Earlier on Sunday I was very bored, and tired. I wanted a nap, but I don’t like to nap because then I won’t sleep all that well at night when I’m supposed to be sleeping. So what is my solution to not go to sleep, I want to eat, - bored = eat – no napping = eat to prevent sleep - kind of a vicious cycle for me. Now I didn’t fall prey to it, I fought those demons all afternoon, but they were there nagging me on. I really need to figure out what to do to replace this boredom thing I have at home. It’s not like I’m not cleaning, doing laundry, or have already exercised for the day. The weather was cold, wet and snowy outside (first snow day) and I really didn’t want to go for a walk. I can read (I have tons of books), but that just makes me tired = eating to stay awake cycle.

I don’t watch T.V., as I do not find anything of interest on the schedule. BF is in control of the TV remote anyway…… (even when he is sound asleep napping on the couch he hangs on to the stupid thing) J

So not sure how to handle this one (and I’ve blogged about it before).

What do you do when you get bored?

Hope everyone has a fantastic day and make good choices,

Sandra

Hot 100 W2 Update and W3 Goals

Week 2 Hot 100 Long Term Goal Update:

1. Drink plenty of water - completed

2. Take all my supplements - completed

3. Exercise at least 30 minutes a day - completed one way or another.

4. Increase my strength training to 3 x a week - Only did this twice this week

5. Lose 24lbs by end of the year - down 5.6 lbs since 09/15


Week 2 Small Goal Update:

1. I will journal all my foods (everything that enters my mouth) - Complete M-F - missed some on weekend.
2. I will note my hunger on a scale of 1-10 before and after each meal (in my journal) - Complete M-F

3. I will walk 4 x this week. - Complete

4. I will strength train 3 x this week. - Only did 2x

5. I want to be down 2 more lbs by Friday for the OFB BL weigh in - Only down .8lbs last week

Week 3 - This weeks goals (not repeating anything I have in the Hot 100 Goals)

1. Positive Attitude every day

2. Walk 4 x this week (not stating from home to work as it has already started snowing here and I just don't have the shoes for long outdoor walks just yet (will be going shopping soon for boots).

3. Make the right choice when selecting what goes in my mouth at least 6 out of 7 days.

4. Journal everything that goes in my mouth

My Walking Partner and her New Haircut

This is Katie her before and after picture. Since she is going to go hunting soon it was best to get her hair cut pretty close to prevent the burrs continually getting tangled in her hair.

I miss her Mohawk

Journaling...

I have talked about this before but wanted to bring it up again as I think it deserves its own post. I have been journaling for a very long time but not consistently. I wouldn’t call them a diary because sometimes they contain personal thoughts, sometimes just what I ate, sometimes just the workouts or sometimes all three - I'd even insert an "Other" category here. My ex husband (#2), when we were breaking up, said he read through a lot of my personal thought journals and used them as amo against me (he was very verbally abusive during our breakup) so I’ve kind of been shy of doing that sort of deep down digging since 2004/05. But I think it is time to start up again because until I find out exactly what emotional baggage I am carrying around (if any), I may not be as successful in being in the present and in tune with my body. If I’m still living in the past, I can’t move forward very successfully into the future. And I totally trust my BF to respect any book he sees lying around which belong to me (and he hates to read J)

Right now I have 4 books in a current journal state – one is my 90 day challenge where I am logging all my foods and exercising minutes. I also have a binder in my workout room which lists EXACTLY what I am doing for my workouts (weights, miles, times etc.). I have another journal for any spiritual revelations that I encounter (I call them synchronicities). Another for my BACH flower remedy treatment results (another post on those later) and now another that I’m starting for my “what do I want” journal. I have countless others that have not been finished and someday I may just update them as to where I am in this life at this moment. Sometimes it gets too be way too many but whatever, it is as it is.

I also classify this blog as a journal but it is not a deep-down-dig-it-out-reveal-it-all kind of journal – I’m too private for that but it sure is very helpful with my journey right now.

I’m hoping my “what do I want” journal will help me determine what exactly I am looking for right now and to help me get there. I’ve always had this feeling of detachment from my current state of life that leaves me feeling like I am missing something, that there is more for me to be doing, that what I am currently doing is not all that I was meant to do….. kind of deep – I know. I’m hoping that this new journal will help me open up more and be more in tune with my wants and needs. I’ve spent so many years worrying about everyone else around me that I’ve suppressed my own wants and needs and for the last 5-6 years, I’ve moved towards focusing on me for a change. I’m the oldest in my family, we are all grown up and living successful lives. We’ve lost both our parents at an early age (Dad 55, Mom was 60) and really felt like I had to be the matriarch of the family but I’m starting to let that go because they (my brother and sister) are finally accepting the past and moving on. Well my Brother still has moments but they are getting fewer and farther between.. (he’s still a bit bitter).

Anyway, my point is, journaling will help you organize your day, thoughts, goals, plans, and whatever you need to get out there – so have you written in and reviewed your journal today?

And back to regular scheduled news:

Food has been good for the remainder of this week (I’m down another .8 of a lb since last Friday), and I’ve got to plan for the weekend to make it work.

Exercise has been good – hip is tight but no pain so walking is much easier – yahoo!

LIVESTRONG 2009

My thoughts and prayers go out to everyone who has been touched by cancer either personally or through someone you know. It can be a nasty disease and I will continue to contribute to foundations that are researching cures. My Mother lost her battle in September of 2001.

I hope everyone has a fantastic day and weekend, and make good choices.

Ttyl

Sandra

p.s., I just realized in from yesterday's post that I use the smiley face way too often...

Mind Chatter

I love this saying – I read it Yesterday on another blog “Do or Do Not – there is no Try”.

You either do something or you do not do something. If you try you set yourself up to fail. It’s all about choices. It’s my new motto now J

Today’s thoughts are on balance and self talk. How do you find balance in your life? For me I think walking outdoors (especially in nature) and spending a few quiet moments alone before I go to bed are what give me a sense of peace. It allows me time to refocus on what I am trying accomplish. Allows me to go over what happened during the day that I could have done better (a do over) or during my morning walk, plan how I’m going to approach the day. Kind of my goal setting time. Sometimes I even find myself stating a mantra over and over with each step when I walk.

My night time session starts with a nice warm bath to relax and ease my joints, then I douse myself with lotion because I’ve just sucked it all out with the bath.. Then I do some easy stretches and relaxation poses. Then I’ll either close my eyes and try to think of nothing (meditate) or I will read a book on something motivating (or a trash novel J one or the other depending on how I am feeling). I read on some one’s blog the other day, in the comment section that one lady, for five minutes each night, she repeats her goal weight “I am 135 lbs” (or whatever it was) over and over again. She said that her subconscious has that ingrained inside and when she sees herself in a mirror at her current weight, she gets a bit of a shock because she isn’t actually at the weight her mind thinks it is at. She seems to be consistently losing weight because she is focusing on what is and not what isn’t if you know what I mean. If you consistently beat up on yourself, being negative, down, your mind eventually believes that that is the way it should be - overweight. If you act and behave like you are already at your goal weight, you will get there much easier because your mind already is. Kind of like pretending, fully, that you are already slender. I’m a firm believer in the strength of our subconscious so I try to think only positive thoughts before I go to sleep (I’ll admit that this is not 100% of the time - 80/20 still). We have a pretty good connection to something deep inside that knows more than our conscious mind does and we just need to tap into it. Problem is most of us have too much inner chatter going on.

I’m feeling better these days physically (other than the DOMS from Sunday’s workout). I’m back to walking and I’m positive the hip stretching has helped me quite a bit. I had a session with the massage terrorist yesterday afternoon and got another beating and although it hurts when she manipulates my muscles, I know it has put me on the road to recovery. I KNOW my muscles still need a ton of work and with further stretching, I’d say I’ll be running again in another month (if not sooner). After I’ve worked out the kinks in the muscles, I’m going to meet with a rehabilitation doctor who will show me some strengthening exercises and she is a personal trainer to boot so I may take that on as well. Obviously I haven’t been doing it right or I wouldn’t be in this boat to start with J

Food was not so good the beginning of this week but I’ve moved on from it. It was my daughter’s birthday (9th Month, 29th Day, 2009 Year, 29 years old… creepy J) and we took her out two nights in a row. I need to develop a plan for the times we go out as it always involves beer or vodka and I was doing so good. It is that mentality that lets me make the choice to have a drink when I’ve been doing well. I’ve got to stop, think, then choose. It slows my progress down immensely. It’s “Oh I’ve done well, a couple of drinks won’t hurt” and likely they wouldn’t if it had been only one night but two nights in a row… nope, not cutting it.

And what’s up with this email?

Hi Sandra ,

My name is Dr. Geoff Rutledge, and I am delighted to invite you to join Wellsphere's HealthBlogger Network, the world's premier network of health writers, which now includes over 2,000 of the Web's leading health bloggers! We reviewed your blog, and based on the high quality of your writing, the frequency of your posts, and your passion for helping others, we think you would be a great addition to the Network.

It is easy and free to join the HealthBlogger Network, all you have to do is reply to this message and let us know you would like to participate

It kind of came out of the blue and totally unexpected. Not sure what to make of it as I don’t think my blog is all that informative (yet) but hey… who knows. I just might look into it. Anyone else get an email like this and did you sign up? Is it worth it?

I hope everyone has a fantastic day and make good choices.

Sandra