Yabbering

Well it’s back to the grindstone and I’m not happy about it J Just before I left on holidays, they had me scheduled to move offices so when I got back yesterday, everything was in boxes. Nothing like coming back and having to get organized. Actually was a good thing because I wasn’t into working just yet, in fact, after looking at my online timesheet, I wasn’t even supposed to come into work yesterday. This means I have another day to put towards Christmas or whenever. I have to admit, I do get a lot of vacation days and since Mr. Sandra and I have been together, I have had NO problems using them all up. ALL of them…

I’ve gained weight and it is past that 5lb flashing light warming that I have. AND I feel like crap. No nice way of saying it really. My stomach feels like it is at least 10 inches bigger due to the bloated feeling I have. OK it’s not a feeling, I am bloated. I also know it isn’t that much bigger but it might as well be considering how I’m feeling. It’s darn uncomfortable.

It’s time to get back on the feel good wagon. Time to cut out the stuff I know I shouldn’t be eating. Time to get the right stuff into this body as it’s crying out to be fed only the good stuff. I’m craving healthy foods – it’s weird. I ate good on holidays, lots of fruit and vegetables so it’s not like I haven’t been feeding myself right in that respect, but there were chips and just like Helen mentions – also pepperoni sticks. But I’m craving 100% clean eating. I really feel like I need a detox. Flush those nitrates out of my body…

My birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks and then it will be the 365 day countdown until I hit the big 50. Because I’ve found this lovely blogland world and have met some pretty cool online ladies who have already reached this milestone in their lives, I am no longer upset about the fact that it is quickly approaching. Besides, I still look like I’m in my late 30s J However, I am nowhere near where I want to physically be by the time I reach that age.  I’ve kind of been messing around and not getting down to business. I will be the first to admi this -  that's the first step right ? Admiting it and stop hiding from it.

I think I’ve been deluding myself that since I have been exercising so much (with the exception of that 6 week stint of laziness this summer), that I could eat whatever I wanted and not count calories. I kept wanting to try to be 100% clean and I can successfully do it for a couple of weeks then I tend to eat crap for a couple of days and get rid of any of the benefit I received when I ate clean. By crap I mean going out for Pizza, or eating chicken wings, or burgers, etc. Or going on a potato chip binge. So when I’m on the “clean eating” phase, when I all of a sudden crave the fatty/salty stuff, then my body is missing something from the clean eating and I need to figure out what it is so that I can make sure I can supply a clean version so that it doesn’t trigger the fatty version. Does that make sense?

I also sometimes think I spend too much time trying to analyze all this stuff. But if I don’t, and be mindful of what I am putting in my mouth, well then bad things can happen – like an increase in that number on that scale.

I need to be organized or all hell breaks loose.

I want to experiment and see what my body likes/needs and does well with.

My nose gets stuffy if I eat real butter.

I’ve only 23 days until the 100K kidney march – OMG!!!

I hope you all have a FANTASTIC day!

Ttyl

Sandra