Inner Talk

I’m having lots of inner talk lately that I need to address. I especially encounter it during Hot Yoga. What was getting easy for me a year ago is now very difficult and painful. It is a shame I let myself get to this point over the last year when I was doing so well. And that is what conversation goes through my head.

Why, why, why did I stop?

I feel like I have never exercised before, my hips are so tight, my back is so weak, and sore. I can’t bend over as far because of all my junk in my trunk and 18 months ago I remember writing about being excited about reaching personal bests in most of the poses. How it was getting easier and that I was actually getting into the poses properly.

Now I’m starting over.

But at least I am starting over right? Gotta start somewhere and as long as I don’t stop, I’ll get back to where I was and then some.

But the inner talk has to stop. It’s demoralizing. If I continue it, it will program my mind and I’ll get back into my frumpy mood. I don’t like that mood, it’s not the normal me. I’m a happy person normally, I don’t like not being happy, especially with myself.

Yes, I am doing good with no drinking. I’m very proud of myself. But this past week, I’ve wanted to go out this weekend on a date night, and have a beer and something special for dinner. I’m only 2 weeks into Jenny Craig (full two weeks that is) and I’m already tired of the “packaged” food. I’ve never eaten like this before and quite frankly I’m not sure how long I am going to last. I miss my home made healthy food….  I’m grieving for my old normal.

Just need to remember this:

“A lot of people make the mistake of starting something like this with the thought, "I can't wait until I am at my goal because then I can get back to 'normal' and not have to think about this". However, this is the start of something that will not have an ending: conscious food choices, moderation, exercise and proper 'mind management' (otherwise known as how you think about food, diet, exercise, your body, body image, the scale, etc) will be a part of your day every day. So, while it is going to be such a tremendous milestone when you reach your goal weight, enjoy the process too. "Sit back and enjoy the ride" as they say because it's fun (to feel light), it's empowering (to overcome challenges or cravings), it's a confidence builder (to fit into smaller clothes and look great) and it's energizing (to be able to go farther longer or faster while you exercise)."

I am creating a new normal and this is just a part of the adjustment process.

No stopping for this girl anymore. I want to be like Helen and write a fantastic post on how well I am doing with weight and health… you ROCK Helen!!

I hope you are all having a FANTSTIC day.

ttyl

Sandra